Top 5 Reasons Not to Shop in Some Small Towns

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A top five list in ascending order of reasons why you should not shop in some small towns.

1. Limited Selection

What a fantastic recipe! I would love to make those exotic carrots with those fantastic spices! Oh wait, the local grocery store did not carry those spices. A home chef needs to cook everything with salt, Judgementpepper, and chili sauce and life will be grand.

2. Quality Not So Good

I decided to look into the frozen food section to buy a nice whole chicken. The date on the chicken was recent and the bird was completely frozen wrapped in a white wrapper. I was so excited to take the bird home to make a nice chicken stew. A few days later, I unwrapped the frozen chicken and it was completely green with a weird odor. Gross! Sometimes, you have to drive to the next town over to buy quality protein that is edible.

3. Weekly Bake Sales on Strange Fundraisers

The small town grocery stores help sponsor the strangest fundraiser events. One week you see a fundraiser to buy cupcakes to raise funding for yellow yarn for the knitting club, and then the next week you see cookies for sale to raise money for tires for a church’s charter bus. The ladies look the same every week and the ten dollar chocolate chip cookies are excellent!

4. Judgment On What You Buy

You are loading up the shopping cart with the much-needed cleaning supplies and then run into one of your coworkers. She has google eyes looking into your cart and says the crazy comments that you are a millionaire for spending twenty-five dollars on cleaning supplies. Next time, I hope she sees me load up my cart with crazy items like duct tape, a driving map, toilet bowl brush, and large garbage bags.

5. Running Into Everyone On A Bad Hair Day

Finally, you had one of those bad hair days where the hair spray and wet comb is a no go, and you really need to pick up a few items at the store. So you decide to brave the masses and head into to town. I first go into the post office and notice an old friend. She notices your bad hair and will say many prayers for you. Oh well, maybe that will be it. I next decide to fill the space ship car with gas and low and behold I see one of my coworkers. She has the google eyes on my hair and is starting to laugh. She figured the workaround by wearing a baseball hat. Okay, that might be the last person I see around town. Let’s drive to the grocery store to pick a few items. I grabbed a shopping cart and meet two families that all have the google eyes. What is today’s date? I will never go shopping on a pay day in a small town with bad hair.

 

Shop, Small Town
Trying to keep my wits during a bad hair day